


Fighting ‘til the end

by Yossuze



Series: Hurt/Comfort ( I’m taking request ) [1]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Burn Out, But only a little, Fear, Hurt Choi Beomgyu, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Pneumonia, Run Away, Sickfic, Suicidal Thoughts, TXT are stressed out, bts are supportive, medical inaccuracy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:21:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24919759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yossuze/pseuds/Yossuze
Summary: Overwork and stress lead to TXT lashing out on Beomgyu who’s even more exhausted.When he run away and find himself in a delicate situation, the worse is to be expected.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu & Everyone, Choi Beomgyu/Everyone
Series: Hurt/Comfort ( I’m taking request ) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1803340
Comments: 9
Kudos: 80





	Fighting ‘til the end

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone ^^ 
> 
> I put the warning first :
> 
> Light suicidal thoughts  
> Medical inaccuracies 
> 
> I hope you enjoy. I am not an English native and didn’t read myself so I apologize beforehand xD

Promotions were always fun but exhausting. They were getting closer to the end of Can’t you see Me promotions and every members were getting sensitive, getting emotional easier. Beomgyu was on top of that having troubles sleeping. He couldn’t help but think about the thousands of reasons why he didn’t belong in the group. And it was affecting his performance, which led to the current situation :

“ Beomgyu, you made too much mistakes and your oh so famous facial expressions were totally missing today! Do you want to mess up everything? “ Kai said after a performance where Beomgyu tried his best to not faint in the middle. The others seemed to agree with him which hurts him.  
“ I’m sorry I’m just really tired...” he responded with a voice that clearly shouted exhausted.  
“ So what! We all are! I didn’t think your singing could be even worse but today it seemed like you could” Soobin added not really keeping his calm.   
“ You were always late, can’t you dance? That’s why you’re in the group for no? “ Yeonjun’s words opened even wider Beomgyu’s scar but he just kept on looking at his shoes.   
“ Stop with the attitude, you’re always so energetic it’s driving us mad but when you should have some you don’t, we clearly see you set your priorities...” Beomgyu wanted to yell at Taehyun that was wrong and that he was really tired. But he did not, to be honest he was getting really scared, and hurt. He felt like he was crowed, do they not want him here? Is that why they all agreed and what was said ? Being alone against 4 angry men was more terrifying that he thought it would. And they pay attention to point out everything he was insecure about and told them. ALMOST everything.  
“ If you can’t keep up with the hectic schedule why are you even here for ? Oh right, your pretty face, that’s all you have. You don’t feel like you belong to the group when we all worked our asses to give good content to MOA and you just don’t care at all. “ 

Now they had touched every insecurities. He was truly afraid. But also guilty because it felt like he was right, if he can’t keep up, what is he doing here...he didn’t belong...   
At Soobin words he began running out of the room saying sorry again and again. 

It only took few minutes after he left for TXT to calm down before guilt eats them and they began getting angry again, but this time at themselves. How could they lash out on him when he clearly wasn’t ok. That hit them, he wasn’t ok at all, before they even talk to him, he was on the verge of collapsing, and then it happened. They never heard him sounds that broken since he came to all of them about his insecurities. 

Beomgyu never stopped running, even when his legs gave out, he pushed himself up and ran again. Tears were flooding, all of the emotions he tried to keep in were all coming out and hitting hard. His thoughts were running too fast, telling himself that he deserved it. His heart ached so much and he was so so exhausted, running didn’t help. When he fell again and tried to get up, this time he just kept falling. He realized he didn’t know where he was, he didn’t came from Seoul and the surroundings of music show was not in his knowledge of the city. He was screwed but he felt a sense of relief. His members would not be able come here soon. All the pressure from keeping his image left his body, he could enjoy that freedom at least. 

Rain started falling. He realized that he was still in his stage outfit, without his phone and his clothes were thin, too thin for a night being soaked. He was beginning to feel cold, really cold but the charming sound of the rain dropping felt like a lullaby. He was so exhausted, mentally and physically, his legs were too weak, he didn’t felt safe going back to his members even if he could. Wouldn’t it be so easy to just sleep and have out,he could do than then he wouldn’t have to wonder if he’s truly happy, he wouldn’t be a burden, he wouldn’t have to be so exhausted, everything would be so easier... 

If he was scared, now he was terrified. At himself. For seriously thinking about it. He wouldn’t let himself do it. He has a family, no two family that will miss him. He had yet to prove himself as worthy and he remembered that feeling. The one he felt the day of their debut, all the love from fans and his members. 

It was becoming dark. He was alone, soaked, lost and unable to properly move. But he was determined not to let his tiredness win over him and try to stand up again. When his legs didn’t even move, he became desperate. Tried again and again becoming more and more hopeless. 

Giving up, he looked around him, he was in what seems like a parc, how did he even got there ? Nobody seemed there. He had to try moving and find some house. With his arms he crawled with all his force and determination. He kept thinking of all of what was dear to him. He didn’t even know how much time passed as he finally left the parc and went to a house, his arms were sadly not the strongest and despite his will, were starting to feel the urge to sleep. But he continued, ignoring the little voice of his head telling himself that he should just give up. The situation he was him was really pitiful. Run away then wanting desperately to come back and that in less that a day. He was crawling on the ground because his legs gave out. Just because he couldn’t handle a few comments. 

The house was getting closer. Why did it have to have steps ? He climbed the stairs so slowly, each steps draining him of so much energy. He was at least glad the portail was left open. Then his hand slipped on one step and he fell down the stairs, finally falling asleep. 

He woke up at a woman shaking him violently while speaking way too frantically. His eyes seemed so heavy and he couldn’t figure out the words she was saying nor the pain. After a few seconds he opened his eyes, he was on a house he didn’t know. Right, so he succeeded in reaching the house. Eventually he understood that the woman was speaking to the emergency service. As she saw him awake, she seemed to relax and immediately seemed to relay that information. Seemed because he only heard one word out of four. 

“ Ch... Choi... Beom... Gyu...” he managed to say but it was more tiring than he thought and was so tempted to go back to sleep...

“ Is that your name ?” He heard name. So he nodded. Before going back to sleep while she screamed at him to stay awake. 

Next time he woke up, he was on a hospital bed, but he didn’t know it so he first panicked as a monitor began to beep. That’s when he realized and all of what happened come back at him. He almost laughed at himself from how pathetic he was. He was on a hospital because of some argument... and because his body was weak... but he didn’t. Maybe by relief that everything was over, well, seemed over, and maybe was it because opening his mouth was not plausible as an oxygen mask was blocking his mouth. But why would he need on oxygen mask? He also observed that a lot of wires were surrounding his body. It made him feel uneasy, like he almost died. 

A doctor came into his room and then quickly got out when he saw him awake as to alert some nurses. He walked back then.

“ Hello Choi Beomgyu. I know you may have a lot of questions which won’t go unanswered, or so I wish. A woman found you down the stairs of her house, she thought at first it was a thief who fell but quickly realized that was not the case. Despite her age, she didn’t hesitate a second to carry you inside and wrapped you in blankets as you were freezing and soaked, she even put you close to the heater. She saw that you were sweating a lot despite being so cold and immediately try to see if you were having a fever and you were. She tried to cool it down the best she could then you began having trouble breathing, she called the emergency service immediately and try to shake you awake, which you did and gave out your name. You can be thankful she acted that fast and found you right then because you could have died. You were sick from pneumonia and pneumonia isn’t actually life-threatening for young and healthy adults like you but you were not exactly healthy at all. You had what we call a burn-out, all of your body gave out because of overworked, high stress and fatigue. As you’re an idol, it’s not that surprising, it happens more often than the agency let out but along with pneumonia, it lead to your current situation. We’ve been giving you food and medicine to fight against the infection but as your body is really weak, it is slower and lead you to being in coma for five days. It’s been five days since we found you. Now that you’re awake, you shouldn’t need the oxygen mask anymore. Do you want me to call your manager or your members ? They went home after spending the first three days waiting at the hospital.” The doctor freed him from the mask and gave him a small smile. Beomgyu tried to speak but his voice didn’t come out for the first try. 

“ Can your call all of them ?”

“ Yes, but I want to tell you they wouldn’t be able to visit you. You see, if you catch a virus, it could kill you as your body is still both fighting the pneumonia and recovering from your burn-out. “ he gently warned.

“ what is it exactly please.”

“ As I said, it’s when your body is tired, overworked and you’re really stressed. Your body gave out. There is different level of burn out, most of the time, the one the idols suffered is not that bad, yours is because of the pneumonia. But the worst I had was someone who had her back paralyzed for what she thought was life before healing after 10 years” Beomgyu was horrified at that idea, and then remembered his legs.

“ My legs, I couldn’t move it”

The doctor seemed taken aback and asked him to move his legs immediately. One of his toes moved a little, so little that if the doctor was not focused, he would have missed. Then he sighed, reassured.

“ one of your toes moved, that is a good sign, it means you’ll probably recover in a few month. “

The doctor looked to the left and saw 13 figures behind the window. 

“ Your friends arrived let me sit you and give you a phone so you could be able to talk to them” 

He did as he said before exiting and telling TXT, BTS and 2 managers, one from each groups, the number they should call probably. 

The phone rang and he immediately accepted the call and giving them a weak smile through the window.

“ Sorry. We’re so sorry. And we probably are the worst friend and members ever, we don’t ever deserve you looking at us Gyu-Hyung . I’m so sorry.” 

Beomgyu was surprised, he should have expected that from them but he didn’t. He felt the guilt in his voice. His maknae’s voice, he should be protecting him, not be the reason he’s hurting.

“ Kai-ah don’t cry, Hyungie is so sorry too, he should’ve made less mistakes, he should’ve told you about his missing sleep but he didn’t. What happened happened. I just want to be with you.” 

His voice was beginning to hurt from the overuse after being inactive for a few days. He could see all of them crying, even the manager of BTS has tears forming.

“ No that was not true, we made as much mistakes as you but we lashed on you and used your insecurities against you. We are monster aren’t we? When you left we wanted to apologize so much, we hurt our brother, our amazing Gyu-Hyung , just because we couldn’t deal with stress. We live you so much Beomgyu-Hyung. You’re the reason why TXT is, your the one that connects Hyung line to maknae line, our visual center, our moodmaker. You’re so necessary and important to us that it hurt so much when “ fans “ totally ignored your existence when we debuted. Don’t think less of you because of us... You almost died because of us...”

At Taehyun’s words tears where flooding from Beomgyu before he cough. 

“ I love you too so much too. You’re the reason why I fought for live, I almost died because I was stupid, not because of you please...” 

“ We learned for your legs Beomgyu-ah... we know you live moving, being on a wheelchair will be hell for you, are you sure you could bear that.”

The caring word of his manager made Beomgyu smile through the tears.

“ I literally just survived from worst, don’t worry about that.”

“ We will make sure you’re never bored during these month.”

“ No Jungkook, I don’t think kidnapping his from the babies will make him feel better.”

They talked to Beomgyu for hours to try to distract him but eventually his cough became more violent and he started struggling to breath. They were sent home as the doctor sprang into actions.

It turned out that once Beomgyu was out the hospital, they were right to worry about Beomgyu becoming hard to deal with. He had too much energy he couldn’t use in dancing as his legs was paralyzed for now. Despite that, TXT members proved themselves as caring and understanding so did BTS. He was glad when they would gently speak to him after exploding from frustration, when they would carry him everywhere he wanted to be. He could do V Lives again, and to be honest, he was also very glad for that, as the company released a statement about his situation, he could without any problems show himself in wheelchair. What made fans laugh the most was when he told them he was sad because his thigh muscles was becoming thinner and thinner and he wouldn’t be the strongest anymore. 

To say TxT has become very protective of him would’ve an understatement. Even creating scandals after Taehyun let out his rage at a fan telling him during a fan sign that the group was better without Beomgyu. Soobin gently took care of tearing every letter criticizing Beomgyu into a million pieces. Yeonjun would show up in the middle of the V live and defend him against hate comments and even a disgusting person that clearly made Beomgyu uncomfortable with his perverted comments. Huening Kai will show his love as much as he could to Beomgyu, even letting him have his dolphin plush. 

When he almost regained all senses of his legs, Beomgyu decided to talk to them.

“ Back then, I really wanted to give up on life, I was telling myself than everything would be easier, that I wouldn’t have to hurt. But now, I can truthfully say that I enjoy life thanks to all of you. You made me feel love and special, you always tell me how much I count for you and that really helped me. I found out that having someone that support you constantly is the best medicine. You’re the reason why the sun shines brighter that he ever had in my life.”

Some tears escaped the eyes of the members before Yeonjun spoke out.

“ That day you ran out, we thought you just went somewhere else in the building but we called everyone and nobody saw you, that’s when we understand that you could be in real danger. We search for you everywhere around the music show but you went so far, we were getting hopeless as day was shining when we received a call. They said “ Are you Choi Yeonjun? It’s the hospital for Choi Beomjun “ my heart started pounding so strong. You were at the hospital, you were hurt.  
Then he said “ he almost died but thankfully we managed to stabilize him” all our worlds broke down. We were so afraid to lose you, we realized how important you were to us and decided to make sure you knew it too. Gyu-ah, this is your home, you totally belong with us, you’re so essential...”

They ended by cuddle and group hug. Beomgyu finished re-education 4 months after recovering totally from his sense. He had to learn to walk again and that was pretty humiliating but TXT and BTS supported him a lot through that and he also had to recreate muscles. By the end of the year, he was back to his original level.

And they were closer than ever.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it. I’m taking request for a lot of groups but inspiration doesn’t always come so I may take a lot of time.


End file.
